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- GRAPEVINE, Page 27Footnotes From the Front
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- By DAVID ELLIS/Reported by David E. Thigpen
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- An off-beat briefing on the Persian Gulf crisis:
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- Hey, er, Friend, What's Happening? Warnings to American
- troops to be culturally sensitive may have gone a little too
- far. Newly arrived soldiers have been advised to avoid the
- phrase "Hey, dude" because "dude" sounds like the Arabic word
- for worm.
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- Sand Trap. Troops have no opportunity for randy R. and R.
- in Saudi cities, but they have found another use for their
- prophylactics. Soldiers are placing condoms over the muzzles
- of their machine guns to protect them from airborne sand. In
- World War II, ground troops sometimes used "French letters" to
- keep their guns from jamming in the European damp.
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- Walk This Way. To help soldiers find their way in the
- shifting sands, the Air Force is distributing thousands of
- high-tech locating devices. The civilian receivers (typical
- cost: $3,500, compared with $20,000 for the military version)
- read encrypted signals from 18 satellites and are usually
- accurate to within 350 ft. The Air Force has unscrambled those
- signals to allow the locators to give position readings accurate
- to within 35 ft.
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- Snack Attack. The Pentagon has dispatched 11 vans to
- dispense goodies to homesick G.I.s who miss their PXs. The
- mobile commissaries are loaded with foodstuffs including Spam,
- Pop Tarts, Armour Processed Meats and Texas hot sauce. They
- also carry antacid tablets.
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- Cut-Rate Crusade. Operation Desert Shield, which is costing
- the U.S. more than $1 billion a month, is making the Panama
- invasion look like a weekend jaunt. That expedition, which made
- use of the 12,000 U.S. soldiers already based there, cost just
- $163.6 million, the General Accounting Office said last week.
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- On Your Next Desert Vacation . . . Undaunted by the current
- tensions, the Dubai Tourism Board is starting a campaign to
- promote that gulf state as the next vacation hot spot. Situated
- 530 miles southeast of Kuwait, Dubai is where "sportsmen,
- sightseers and adventurers can equally feel at home," claims
- Khalid bin Sulayem, head of the tourist board. And, yes, Dubai
- is out of the range of Iraq's most powerful missiles.
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- If You Build It, Bob Hope Will Come. For soldiers who want
- to putt away their boredom, the Pentagon is shipping out
- plywood and artificial turf to build miniature golf courses at
- Saudi bases. Watch out for the sand traps.
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